The Stress of Relaxation

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January 26, 2010 by Lynn Edwards | Comments (3)

Who doesn’t long for a spa day with the girls? I was recently so excited to meet the gal pals for a “play date” at the spa, only to be reminded how much work it can be to relax!

I got out of the house late and landed in bad traffic. I found myself frustrated, honking and yelling at my fellow commuters “HURRY…I’M LATE TO RELAX!” I dug deep and used the child birth breathing techniques but to no avail, I could feel the stress-o-meter rising. I was tempted to jump into the carpool lane in hopes that if I was stopped the officer would support my desperate desire to chill and provide me a police escort instead of serving up a ticket for double what the massage costs.

When I realized I was going to be WAY late for my appointment, I called the spa and was greeted with a very sweet zen voice on the other end. I explained my predicament and she calmly told me that all my friends were already in session and not to worry, to just “relax, enjoy the drive and we’ll see you shortly!” After circling for parking, I finally came rushing through the spa door. I could literally feel the cloud of angst around me, like Linus with that big cloud of dirt swirling behind him…that was me, only I was infecting this beautiful lobby oasis, with its babbling brook and chimes, with my stress tornado.

The receptionist explained to me that they still had time to give me a short head and neck massage. I’m sure she was looking at me thinking, “Can’t hurt, chick!”

I skipped the relaxation room, foot soak, water with lemon, comfy robes and slippers, and proceeded right to the treatment room. A nice therapist greeted me in the candlelit room with a calming approach. She explained she could help me relax and asked if I had ever had my chakra cleared? I said “clearing the five lanes on the interstate would have been great but I’ll settle for my chakra.”

She starts slow and easy but pretty soon she tells me she’s going to work on my third eye and she starts pulling my hair. At first I thought this is just a more intense head massage than the hair salon but then she moved into a full blown hair pulling session, resembling the ones I used to have with my sister over that killer blue cardigan sweater.

Needless to say, I arrived in the coom-by-ah room only to be greeted by all my friends (looking all relaxed, rejuvenated and cute in their robes) and they busted a gut laughing at my new Debbie Harry 80’s doo. Not only had my chakra been cleared but my hair now looked exactly like a felt….like a maniac.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spas, those therapists are underpaid miracle workers… but relaxation can be such hard work sometimes!

3 Responses to “The Stress of Relaxation”

• Colleen Says:
  February 2nd, 2010 at 11:35 am

  Lynn,
  Oh my gosh, I could not stop laughing while reading your spa experience. I felt the same way on my spa day. Not so much the hurry getting there. The friend I was to go with cx at the last minute so I went alone feeling a bit shy. They told me I would be served a lovely lunch in the middle of my day there. They did not tell me I would be placed in the LOBBY with a little TV tray crunching on my salad, while wearing the robe and now, NO MAKE UP ON! It got even better when a business man in his nice, professional clothes was placed next to me while he waited to go in. We were in the space about the size of a walk in closet. We were in eachothers space! I’m sure he didn’t want to look at some chick in all her glory crunching her carrots to the elevator music while he was trying to get himself into a peaceful mode.
  The treatments were wonderful and the salad was yummy, but next time, I really want to eat my salad in peace without some man seeing me in a robe and no makeup.
  Anyone have any tips to making your spa day just as it should be?

• Marianne Says:
  February 2nd, 2010 at 1:14 pm

  Lynn,
  That’s funny! And oh, so true. I’ll bet every CRAVEr reading this can relate. Unfortunately, most of our stressors don’t go away and get compounded by other things that we do to relieve them. The solution is metabolic balance. You can learn more about it on my website.
  Thanks for the laugh:)

• Brenda Lee G Says:
  February 2nd, 2010 at 3:02 pm

  I’m laughing soooooo hard…this is hilarious and sadly more common experience than anyone thinks. Thanks for the good laugh!

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