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“Modern women have it all. In the past four decades, women have secured better job prospects, greater acknowledgment for achievement, wider influence, more free time, and higher salaries. And yet, recent studies reveal that women have gradually become less happy than they were 40 years ago, and less happy than men – and unlike men, they grow sadder as they get older.”
– Marcus Buckingham, author of Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently”
I’m a big fan of Marcus Buckingham, and not just because he’s handsome and has a fabulous accent! LOL! Rather, because his message inspires, clarifies and empowers individuals learning to spend their time/energy on what they do best, naturally. And as luck would have it, in response to the trends he sited above, his latest work focuses solely on women, inviting us to each play the roles that make us strong.
Do You Know Your Role as a Woman?
Not surprisingly, the women who are happiest are those who know who they are and play to that. But in a day and age where we’re supposed to be all things to all people, sometimes it’s not so easy to know which of all things we’re trying to balance happens to be our sweet spot!
He has identified nine distinct roles we play: Advisor, Caretaker, Creator, Equalizer, Influencer, Motivator, Pioneer, Teacher & Weaver. And more important than trying to be all of them, the women who are happiest and most successful play to the 1-2 of them that best fits them. Knowing where to focus, in the roles that come naturally, because we are good at them and feel strong in them, gives us the most joy.
Therefore, the question begs to be asked: Do you know your leading and supporting roles? Find out for free in five minutes: Take the Strong Life Test!
Pulling My Friends In
After blogging last year about how our strengths can impact our friendships, I grabbed this book on my way to my Annual Girlfriend Get-Together and roped my girlfriends in! After everyone took the test, we read all the descriptions out loud, from the book, so that we could learn about each other. It was awesome!
For some, we all hooted and hollered at how spot on the description was in specific cases. For others, we paused, looking for stories and evidence to see if we could see the match. As one girlfriend said, “It doesn’t sound like me, and yet, maybe that’s why my life doesn’t feel strong and energizing! Maybe this is the role I should be playing?” Having people who know us well helped us see ourselves, our strengths, and our contributions. It was WAY better than doing it alone!
As friends, we can support each other to serve the world (our spouses, our children, our friends, our jobs) with our best. Our contributions and how we show up will look different based on our strengths and roles.
This is huge. It means that how I decide to structure my company will look different than how one of my friends feels is best for hers. Because we both bring different things to the table and need to develop a team in the way that fits us differently, the goal is to own the need to do it based on your best, not what you think you should be your best. We can have confidence that we will each stand strong in what we have, in our own armor. Living fully.
Because, let me tell you– I do not want the opening quote about us getting sadder as we get older to be said of me or any of my friends. Or you, for that matter! I vote we get happier and more confident as we age! 
Written by Shasta Nelson, M.Div, CEO of the friends matching web site www.GirlFriendCircles.com and weekly blogger at Shasta’s Friendship Blog.
Can you identify your strengths? What about your weaknesses? This month, CRAVE wants to help you capitalize on what you do best with a valuable lesson learned by our founder, Melody Biringer, over many years and many businesses.