I don’t know if any of you are “culinaryily challenged,” but I sure am. I am obsessed with the Food Channel but don’t cook anything I ever see prepared on there. There is something soothing and brain numbing about watching them create, compete, build absurdly shaped cakes, and whip up mystery ingredients I have never heard of.

How about that Rachel Ray gal? She rocks it every night in less than 30 minutes. The big difference is when I go to my pantry or fridge I don’t conveniently have all the spices and sauces placed by the elves so my 30 minute meal turns into a frustrated 80 minute search for cumin, and a trip to the grocery store. (Consequently, I leave the grocery store with everything BUT cumin and swing through the drive-through window before returning home.)

When I do cook I seem to have portion control issues. I grew up in a big family so I assume spaghetti noodles come in “single serving” bags only. Needless to say, I have a lot of leftovers and anyone who reheats spaghetti noodles knows, they aren’t too tasty.

My Mom is an amazing cook and she knows how to put on a party with picture perfect hors d’oeuvres, now SHE could have her own Food Network show. I think I was busy outside shooting hoop when she was whipping up chef lessons. So the pressure to live up to that is huge. She would bring heaping scrumptious cupcakes to my class parties… with every child’s name monogrammed on them. I am lucky if I can pull off a drive by drop off of Oreos for the school Valentines Day party!

My southern Mother-in-Law once tried to help me out by buying me a southern cookbook. Every dang recipe started with “make a rue”…have you ever tried to make a rue? Well, it’s a special little concoction of flour and butter that you have to try not to burn. I never made a single recipe from that book!

I will have to say I have the “sipping” part of this sip/savor category down pat. Never met a cocktail I didn’t like and they seem to be MUCH easier to make. Although I recently tried a signature cocktail recipe and it actually called for pear sorbet…my Coors Light generally does not come with ice cream and- huge surprise- I didn’t have any pear sorbet in my freezer (unlike Rachel) so I skipped the garnish, the vodka tasted fine without it!

If your idea of comfort food is a large bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and you don’t own a food processor…you are not alone. Rachel rocks…me, not so much!

* a weekly humor post by Lynn Edwards