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CRAVE CRUSH the urban girl's blog to all that you CRAVE
How to heal the MOST important relationship in your life!
What is that ultimate relationship that you engage in every day? Hint… it’s all about taking care of YOU!
Watch this video by CRAVE wellness guru Jamie Living.
Follow Jamie on Facebook and Twitter.
Surround Yourself with BBF’s (a.k.a. Business Best Friends)
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Madeline Albright, former Secretary of State, famously says, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
While many of us crave the BFF who we can call for heart-felt-chit-chat, the friend who will bring us chicken-noodle soup when we’re sick, and the confidante who is consistently present in the ups-and-downs of life; there is also a huge need for a different kind of friend in our life: the BBF.
Not to be confused with BFF’s, what we also need are women who are going to be champions of our ambitions, companies, and platforms: our Business Best Friends.
BBF’s are women who recognize that a rising tide lifts all boats. Women who hold with ease the belief that one doesn’t lose when another wins, that there are enough miracles for all of us, that my success isn’t threatened by yours, that there is room, a lot more room for successful women. Women who are willing to promote each other, brainstorm with one another, and mentor each other in our various fields of expertise and experience.
Women who don’t just want others to do it for them, but are willing to also give it. Generously. To those behind them, to those ahead of them, to those beside them.
How You Can Create a Common Friends Group
You see there are 5 different kinds of friends. If you only build up BFF’s (what I term Commitment Friends) then you could be lacking amazing resources and inspiration that come from different types of friend. (For more on my 5 Circles of Connectedness: see my blog with videos)
One of my favorite circles is the Common Friends circle—the friends we develop around one shared interest or goal—whether it be in church, around politics, in an art class, or as part of a mom’s group. If you own your own business or are thinking of starting one—then a BBF group, women who are as passionate about business as you are is the way to go!
Call it a mastermind, an entrepreneur support group, a success team, or as one of my BBF’s likes to describe it: a personal advisory board that we all share.
Building a group of business friends is my favorite way of networking.
Here’s how to create your own:
Invite: Join one on meetup.com or through a local chapter of a business club, or start your own. This year I reached out to two local female entrepreneurs who impress me to see if either of them was interested in starting one with me. They both said yes. We’ll each invite 3 other women, some that we know, others that we want to know.
What’s most important here is to figure out what you want everyone to have in common. Is it better to have a group where you all come from different industries and networks (therefore being able to bring different skills and contacts to the table) or it better to have a group where you share synergy because you’re all in the same field who can sympathize, brainstorm, and partner up for events (i.e. all being therapists/coaches, authors/speakers, tech start-ups, or retailers) or perhaps the commonality is that you all have a shared target audience (i.e. all retailers on the same block, all vendors to small businesses).
A word of wisdom: typically the best size for real sharing and synergy is between 6-10 people. And of those who join, it is common to ask for a commitment that they plan to attend at least 10 of the 12 months, or something that ensures that this group experiences a loyalty and familiarity that can only come with consistency.
Format: There are so many different ways of organizing these groups so the most important thing is making sure that at the first meeting everyone is on the same page, coalesced around the shared purpose.
My mastermind last year started with 30 minutes of socializing and mingling over snacks, then we had a guest expert for 30 minutes (on subjects we had all agreed upon at the beginning of the year that were of interest to our businesses and professional growth), then the last 90 minutes were split up with each group member getting 10 minutes of the group time to share a win/celebration in their business and a challenge where they wanted the group to help brainstorm.
Some groups have everyone set their annual goals and report each month on their individual progress. Other groups may decide to organize an event together that generates promotion for everyone. Another fun idea is to have each person in the group facilitate a different month—teaching for 10-15 minutes in their area of expertise. There are obviously a myriad of options for how the group can help each other.
Usually in about 4-5 months in you’ll start sensing the feel of community developing. You’ll feel like you have real cheerleaders in your city who want your success and can help be your ambassadors. You’ll become more honest and vulnerable, supporting each other through the pain points of business. You’ll be glad there are people you brought in closer than simply what can be done in an evening of hand-shaking and business card passing. It does take some intentionality. It does take some commitment.
And it’s worth it. Worth it to invest yourself in someone else, knowing they are doing the same for you. May we be women who truly show up to fuel each other’s goals, help overcome the obstacles, and become the best we can be in our businesses.
If Madeline Albright is right, then it must also be true: “There is a special place in heaven for women to help each other.”
And I want to be one of them. And I want you to be, too.
Shasta Nelson, M.Div. (@girlfrndcircles) is a relationship strategist, life coach, and founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women’s friendship matching site in 35 cities across the U.S. She blogs weekly at Shasta’s Friendship Blog and for the Huffington Post.
5 Tips On Building Your Business Through Relationships
Guest blogger: Erin Pierce of pixology
My first job out of college was at a small technical firm who offered computer support, software sales and website design. Without knowing it, when I was hired and appointed “head of the web department” (which consisted of me), I was essentially running a business within a business. Right around the six-month mark, when all of the previous projects were dried up, I realized they expected me to generate my own work. Me? I was absolutely clueless. I knew nothing about generating new clients, vaguely remembered an over-zealous business school friend use the term “networking,” and shuddered at the thought of shoving my business card in someone’s face while giving my “sales pitch.” Vomit.
Then one day it hit me. What if the key to business is the same as the key to life? Relationships. I quickly found a few business events and started to build my empire, urr, small network of great people. Since then, I’ve learned a few things I’d like to share.
- Attend Small Events
I am an energetic and outgoing person, and yet, I found the mega-networking events to be overwhelming and overrated. If you stick to smaller groups, you will have more face time, be more engaged and more visible. - Be Genuinely Interested in Others
There is nothing worse than the impersonal business card exchange where neither party is interested in the other. Be intentional about who you talk to and learn about them. Let’s be honest, we’re all a little narcissistic and enjoy talking about ourselves. Use that to your advantage. - Avoid Free Events
Free events attract people looking for free products and services. Are your products or services free? Yeah, didn’t think so. Paid events are filled with people who value themselves, their business, other people and other businesses. These are the people to connect with. - Think Partnerships, Not Potential Clients
Clients will naturally flow out of relationships, whether directly or by referral. While you are learning about other people and sharing about yourself, remember you are building relationships, not a client base. - Follow Up
I love me a good latte. Any excuse I can make to buy a latte and have my business pay for it is acceptable by me. After meeting new people, I love to send a quick email the following week and set up a coffee date with those who I felt like I really connected with. The coffee is always on me. Treat yourself and your new connection!
No matter where or how you meet new people, by introduction, through networking events or via fun interest-oriented gatherings (i.e. community service, group hiking trips, book club, etc.) remember building your business is about building strong relationships. Businesses are not built by machines, computers or robots, they are built by people like you and me.
Now, march your authentic self down to the next CRAVEchat, seek out a few fabulous women, learn about them both personally and professionally, then ask them out on a coffee date. There is nothing better than connecting with awesome female entrepreneurs over a delicious tax-deductible latte.
Erin Pierce, Owner of pixology
pixologyrules.com
Facebook Page
Twitter: @pixologyrules
CRAVE Holiday Giveaway
In the spirit of the holidays CRAVE is gifting CRAVE guides to three lucky participants in our #CRAVEholiday giveaway.
What is a CRAVE guide? CRAVE guides are your go-to resource for the best women-owned businesses in your city.
What you need to do to enter our holiday giveaway is sign up for our CRAVE insider here on our website here, tweet us at @cravecompany with the hashtag #CRAVEholiday. We want to know one thing you’re CRAVING this holiday season. Three lucky winners will be selected at random to win a CRAVE guide of their choice. This giveaway starts right away and ends Wednesday December 7, 2011. We’ve made it easy for you to enter, just click the Tweet button in the post!
CRAVE guides make for great holiday gifts as well as fabulous resources into the need to know businesses in your city!
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December: Relationships Matter
It’s December and all month long we’re going to be talking about the importance of relationships in business.
As in all other aspects of your life, the people you choose to surround yourself with in the business world really do matter. From your consultant to your accountant to your intern, these are the people who can be there to make your day easier. Nurture these relationships and practice reciprocity. It’s worth it.
What do you think? How do you nurture important relationships with your employees or contacts? How do you go about establishing new connections? We want want to know!
Niche is Rich, Broad is Broke
“Great great night! Even though I don’t own my own business so many great things learned tonight and to apply to my life. My poor husband couldn’t get a word in tonight when I got home — so inspired! Thank you CRAVE!” -Amy Hedman Turnbull
It was a night of inspiration and storytelling at the CRAVE Seattle business chat on Tuesday November 29th. The topic of conversation was the November subject we’ve been discussing, “Flip it Before You Ditch it!” Flip it is a favorite topic of CRAVE Founder Melody Biringer. It’s about changing up a business idea before you move on and try something else. Coming at an issue from an opposite perspective can sometimes help you see a solution in a different light. In addition to hearing the guest speakers talk about their experiences in business the floor was opened up to attendees of the CRAVE chat to talk about their personal insights on flipping different parts of their life. Below are the top six highlights from the chat.
1. Niche is rich, broad is broke, shared by guest speaker Devani Freeman. Devani explained the importance of really focusing on a specific niche in business rather than trying to be really broad.
2. Barbie Hull a CRAVE entrepreness and guest speaker talked about the importance of bouncing ideas off other like-minded individuals when faced with tough business decisions. Brainstorming and collaborating with others can be very powerful.
3. Find your niche and declare it.
4. “Gravitate to what feels natural to you.” -Melody Biringer. If what you’re doing currently in your business or life doesn’t feel right or isn’t working, pay attention to the things you do that you thoroughly enjoy. Figure out the skills that come naturally to you and do something about it.
5. If you have a niche and it’s not working, flip it.
6. Think about your personal life experiences, maybe you have one that others can relate to. Flip your life experiences and passions into a business that helps others.
“I feel renewed and so thankful to have had the opportunity to meet such great women! Thank you for the event and thank you to Cake Envy for the location and yummy treats.” -Kirsten Helle, Mesa de Vida
Big thank you to Cake Envy for graciously hosting our chat and to our speakers, Barbie Hull, Devani Freeman and Melody Biringer. Learn more about our CRAVE chat’s by visiting our website.
Flip the Way You Plan Your Day
CRAVE entrepreness and marketing coach, Stephanie Ward talks about flipping how you get through your to-do list. Flipping it doesn’t have to mean changing everything about your business or rewriting your business plan, it can be something as simple as flipping how you organize your daily tasks to maximize productivity.
I know it’s a radical idea, the death of your to-do list so bear with me while I explain.
Think about it, a long to-do list is a giant energy drain and waste of time.
Have you ever noticed how the list keeps growing instead of disappearing?
Imagine waking up every morning feeling confident that you have enough time to accomplish the goals you have set for the day. Picture yourself wrapping things up at the end of the day knowing that you have not wasted your time or energy and that the actions you completed are supporting you in creating a profitable business.
Intrigued? The great news is that it is simple to kill your to-do list. Here’s how. First, take a long hard look at your massive to-do list and put a number one next to the actions that are high priority (I know, I hear you shouting they are all high priority, trust me they aren’t).
Go through the list again and rank the medium priority actions with a number two and low priority actions with a number three.
Now, get out your calendar and take each high priority action and place it into your schedule. Choose a date that it will be completed as well as a realistic block of time for completion (start and finish time).  Continue doing this with the medium priority actions and finish with the low priority actions.
This will work for you no matter what kind of calendar you use. Choose a system that works for you. The concept of integrating your actions into your planning is much more important than the type of calendar you use.
New opportunities do come up and you can update and adjust your planning as needed. The difference is that now the things you have planned are already prioritized so if something new comes up, you will be able to consider its importance in relation to existing priorities. This is much more effective than simply adding another action to the bottom of a list.
Also, make sure you schedule in some free time each day for unplanned things that come up. If you can’t find a place for some of the low priority actions don’t worry, I have a solution for you below (see benefit number three).
Let me confess something, I know to-do lists don’t work because I am a former owner of a long to-do list (that never got done). Since I killed my to-do list and consciously thought about what I really want to get done, I am much more productive and feel confident about the direction of my business.
Benefits for You:
1. Doing this forces you to reconsider what you are doing with your time and this allows you to get clear about what your real priorities are.
2. You will have a realistic picture of what you can really accomplish in a certain time period (each day, week, month, etc.).
3. There will probably be some things that won’t fit into your schedule and this gives you a chance to consider dropping them or delegating them. I like to call this your “to-don’t” list. If you are a solopreneur and don’t have employees who can pick up the slack, you can always outsource.
4. You will reduce overwhelm and stress because you will no longer be confronted daily with a giant list of things you know you won’t get done that day. This way you will get more accomplished, stay on track, and remain focused.
5. You will feel great about the actions you plan to take each day because you know they are aligned with your long term goals and that doing them will move you forward toward reaching them.
Anyone who is serious about building a sustainable and profitable business needs to be sure they are spending their time and energy on the right things.
Are you are beginning to see that a long to-do list that isn’t prioritized with actions that aren’t connected to a actual dates for completion isn’t efficient?
It can be scary to integrate your to-do list into your calendar and I promise, it is worth it.  What do you have to lose? Try it and if it doesn’t work you can always go back to the never-ending list of things that never get done.
Stop living in denial about what you can realistically get done and choose to plan and execute profitable actions that will grow your business!
© Stephanie Ward
Stephanie Ward is the Marketing Coach for Entrepreneurs who want to set their profits on fire! Grab your FREE copy of the special report ’7 Steps to Attract More Clients in Less Time’ plus business building tips, at: http://www.fireflycoaching.com.
Building New Relationships in Business
New York Times Best Selling Author and business strategist Carol Roth talks with CRAVE Founder Melody Biringer on flipping her perspective and building new relationships in business.
CRAVE Business Spotlight: WeVillage
Here at CRAVE we’re inspired by the smart and savvy entreprenesses featured in our CRAVEguies. Whether you’re a business owner in San Francisco or a business owner in Amsterdam, as entreprenesses we all share common goals in that we want our businesses to succeed. Here is an interview with CRAVE entrepreness Karen Beninati, owner of Portland based company WeVillage. WeVillage is an urban play care for children where parents can drop their kids off in a safe and engaging environment.
WeVillage is the brainchild and conception of Karen Beninati. The idea was born out of this single mother’s love and appreciation for providing quality in every aspect when working with children. Her own love of children and her experience with child/parent relationships garnered during her volunteer experiences at her son Luca’s schools.
1. Tell us a little bit about what makes your business unique?
We are the only place where at anytime you can drop off your child, with no appointment needed for all day or a few hours. We are also open very late.
2. What is your favorite thing about owning your own business?
Freedom and helping others.
3. If you had one piece of advice to offer women wanting to start their own business what would it be?
Do it, and do not let barriers prevent you from continuing to push forward. Make sure you have a good support system, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Success will happen, maybe it’s not exactly what you imagined right off the bat but you have to start somewhere, and it will become everything you didn’t imagine.
4. Do you have a role model or mentor?
My Fiance Paul, he is exceptional in business and he gets it, he loves me unconditionally.
5. What motivates you on a daily basis?
Being the best I can be, and completing my goals and staying true to my intentions I set when I started WeVillage.
6. Why did you start your business?
To provide a service unlike anything out there, and to build something people can be proud of.
To learn more about WeVillage or Karen visit her website wevillage.com, WeVillage is also on Facebook and Twitter!
Flip Your Food and Feel Fabulous!
Ever noticed you can sense when you’ve made a mistake or bad decision in your business? It is not always crystal-clear but perhaps you were nervous about taking a particular step, ignored your intuition, pushed through then realized CRAP, I’ve made a bad move! Don’t worry, my dear. There is not a single crave-able lady who has not made a poor business decision or hit a creative wall after spending hours and hours with their particular business baby.
The beauty of being business owners is we are driven (some may even say compelled!) to see our businesses thrive and are very quick to regroup and get things back on track. The problem is that many times we jump right back on the same track that led us to the crappy business decision in the first place. This is a sign the business blinders have been on far too long. We need to slow down, step back and see what needs to be flipped!
The same thing goes for our food. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results (thank you Mr. Einstein), and yet how often have we jumped from one diet to the next thinking, “YES, this is going to be the one that works!”?  Or popped open a can of diet coke hoping it would squelch our sweet need only to find it gets us thinking about chocolate and that left over piece of cake in the fridge? Especially when trying to eat healthfully, it is extremely difficult to see that what we are eating may not be working.
So how do you know when your food needs a flip? Here are three easy-to-identify signs that will get you on the right track:
1)Â Â Â Â You are a super slug in the morning- Granted some of us are simply not morning people. However, if you find that when your alarm goes off your head, eyes, arms and legs all scream NO!!, this is a sign that whatever was for dinner (lunch or breakfast) the day before is not working for you and needs a flip.
2)    Crazy cravings- Cravings are not a bad thing. They are simply your body saying, “Hey, I need something!” Where problems arise is when you misinterpret these cravings and eat the wrong thing, which then continues the craving cycle.Â
3)    Eating for Function- If you are eating out of the sheer need to survive, girlfriend we have got some serious food flipping to do! Food certainly is needed to stay alive however there is also great joy and unbelievable flavors and tastes to be gotten out of the experience of eating. It’s often when we eat those “health” foods (think cottage cheese, a dry bagel and salad with lite dressing) that our tongue eventually rebels and says, “Give me ice cream or give me death!” There is a happy medium between eating for function and going hoagie-heaven, hog-wild and more often than not, a quick food flip will do the trick.
So the next time you are craving like crazy, need a double venti mocha to get out of bed, or are completely uninspired by your bowl of special K, consider giving your food a little flip. It may just be exactly what you need to start feeling fabulous!
In the meantime, I’d love to know what you have done in the past to flip your food or what you plan to try. Reach out and tell me in the comments below.  Come on, don’t be shy!
Jamie G. Dougherty is the owner and founder of Jamie Living, Health and Lifestyle Coaching and food guru extraordinaire! She is a certified Holistic Nutrition Coach with a private and corporate practice that offers assistance nationwide. She is the author of the wildly popular e-cookbook, Spring Forward to the New You: 30 Delicious and Cleansing Recipes for your Fabulous Figure and is the food guru to busy, frustrated women ready to let go and become healthy, fun and fabulous! Be sure to join Jamie on Facebook and Twitter and get your free 5-STEP GUIDE TO FABULOUS at JAMIELIVING.
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