We’ve all done it. Stood in a crowded room of people that we were excited to meet and network with, only to find that the words escape us at the prime moment, or worse yet, no one seems to notice we exist. You’ve got your brand. You’ve definitely got the enthusiasm, but what have you got if no one is paying attention? Shouting from the rooftops of twitter and facebook will only get you so far and eventually you realize that the inevitable is upon you-you’re going to have to talk to someone face to face about your business.

We’ve all felt your pain at CRAVE and we designed our July Business Chat with you in mind as we covered Networking in Real Life-a panel discussion on how to break the ice, make connections, and keep the connections that you make.

We were honored to have Karrie Kohlhass, founder of Thoughtshot Consulting as one of our panel speakers and she has some valuable advice to talk you down off your ledge before you even get there. Stop what you’re doing, turn off the elevator pitch running through your head, take a breathe, and let Karrie tell you how to set the course for successful networking.

Karrie Kohlhass’s approach and background on Thoughshot Consulting
I advise business owners on every aspect of their business, from launch to market, develop to manage, partnering to boundaries…. Instead of focusing on a type of business or a particular area within business, my niche is based on my approach and the type of brain that attracts.

My approach is fast and hard hitting and that draws extremely intelligent and creative people who have big ideas, maybe more than they can handle. Often, they have hit a wall in making their vision of their business match reality. I work one-on-one and also offer workshops. This fall I launch group consulting programs.

What is your business motto?
My current tagline is “Grow Your Business. Smarter” and though I do teach clients how to grow smarter, I feel like my tagline is a little bland. I would like to change it to something like “Consulting with Guts” or “Business on the Edge” because:

A. I routinely risk clients hating me for boldly telling them something that is hard to hear. The way I see it, what is at stake for them is bigger than my desire to be liked.

B. I call my clients forth to be more gutsy in their businesses–being more sassy in their marketing message, taking more risk in negotiations, stepping out of their comfort zone with how they run their business, etc. I like to guide people to their edge and beyond.

What one business mistake will you never make again?
Isolating myself. Working in Chicago with Fortune 500 companies I made myself an island. I had a lot of friends, but few were self employed. When I moved to Seattle, I didn’t know anyone and felt lonely. I joined Biznik and found amazing allies, new ideas, inspiration and a constant flow of clients to boot. I am no longer an island and I am a lot happier. I feel supported in my business now and I see that being an island only held me back.

Your website says you’re not a cookie cutter consultant. What do you mean by that?
My training in cultural anthropology combined with years of product and service research and design for large corporations puts me in a different category than your average MBA. I don’t have an MBA but I have many clients with them. I love those guys and they bring a lot to the table, but sometimes they need a different perspective.
Clients are almost always surprised by what I can see in their business in just one session. I am unpredictable and highly intuitive. 
I view a business as a complex organism. I don’t only focus on one aspect, like marketing or operations, but instead I look at all aspects and how they work (or don’t work) together. I can go deep and still hold the larger picture in view. My anthropology brain is a big part of that–I am always observing, cataloguing, listening from multiple viewpoints. My business brain takes that information and turns it into actions that will move the client’s business forward with velocity. It’s an effective combo.

Networking is so important in business (and in life!) What pointers on Networking in Real Life can you give those of us that are a little bit shy?

Listen first. If you are shy, this should make networking easier for you! Ask good questions and observe the other person from a place of kindness. Listening first allows you to know who your audience is so that when you do talk, you naturally find ways to relate–not just recite your schpeel to them.

Forget what you think “networking” is and just make friends. Listen for points of connection, not opportunities to pitch yourself. The most unlikely connections can lead to long-term business relationships…you both love chiuauas, you both wanted to be Dorothy Hammel growing up, you had a funny conversation about roller derby…People want to do business with people they like.

Wear comfortable clothes. When I am uncomfortable, I am less likely to connect authentically. If I am dressed for an event and feel a little itchy or stiff in my clothes I stop and change into a jeans, a t-shirt and running shoes so I can show up comfortable. People care more about your presence than how fancy you dress.

We loved the Biznik article titled “How to Write an Article like Karrie Kohlhaas’. Can you give us an inside tips?
I didn’t write that article and didn’t know it was written until I saw it published! Someone noticed my articles getting a lot of attention and high ratings so they tried to dissect my writing. The truth is, I don’t have a formula. But here are 3 quick tips for people who want to write better business articles:

Choose targeted topics. People usually pan too wide. Narrow your focus to something very specific. This allows you to get into the nitty gritty and share juicy details.

Use your authentic voice. Instead of writing in the “professional voice” that you think people are expecting, shake it up! It’s more fun to read something that feels conversational.

Don’t be stingy. Many people fear “giving too much away”. Actually, by sharing more valuable information and expertise, you reveal that there is more where than came from. Generosity is attractive.

What’s one thing people would be surprised to know about you?
I am a chicken! I’ve never been on a roller coaster. People seem to get this impression that I am fearless. But the truth is, I can’t bring myself to jump off a high dive. I take risks in some areas of life, but I have never been a dare devil.